Liar, Liar, pants on fire

Do you remember the film Liar, Liar? It starred Jim Carrey as a man whose son's birthday wish was that his dad would stop lying.

It's an interesting concept isn't it lying? I mean we all do it. To other people ("no I didn't notice that the bin was full otherwise I would have emptied it!"), to ourselves ("I'm not drunk, I've barely had anything to drink"), to the stranger on the street ("no I'm sorry I don't have any change") In fact lying is a part of life.  When does a lie become more sinister though? When do we cross the line?

Recently I've been in receipt of a couple of lies, and to be clear I'm not talking about the regular student lies ("my alarm didn't go off", "TFL is a nightmare", "of course I've learnt my lines"), but much more considered lies.  Now as I wrote in an earlier blog I believe that the concept of truth is complicated. We can all have our own interpretation of an event. We can all believe that we're saying our truth - so then what constitutes a lie?

I think that a wilful misrepresentation of someone would constitute a lie. Blaming others for your own shortcomings; but then here's the rub - how do you defend yourself against a lie? It invariably comes down to your word against somebody else's? Who's to say which person is telling the truth? How do you protect your reputation without sounding pathetic?

When I first opened the college I got into lots of internet forum discussions about my plans for this new concept in drama training, and even though I was sure that I knew what I was talking about - I got randomly called a liar.  Just a few months ago, a similar thing happened, and it didn't matter how many facts I presented to substantiate my 'case' (in this instance I was saying how Drama UK would be folding any day, and I was attempting to reassure someone that I had never attempted to apply for membership. However this other person was adamant that I must have applied....not only that but also that I therefore must have taken an anti-Drama UK stance because we had been unsuccessful in our (non existent) application) the person that I was discussing it with was 100% sure that they were right??

We're currently in the middle of the mother of all 'he said, she said' lies at the moment with the ongoing saga of the IICSA. The infamous inquiry which was supposed to be the government finally truly investigating all the allegations of institutional child sex abuse in the UK. Well at this moment in time it's reading like a workshop for a new Ray Cooney farce. I mean they can't even find someone to chair the damn thing effectively. Evidence is being dismissed or in many cases lost, before things can be investigated. Then worse of all, slowly one by one, the support groups are leaving the inquiry - and they're leaving because they just know - that once again their word is not going to be heard. They are going to be called out as liars.

I've seen a National organisation be embroiled in a scandal, and I've seen how effectively they managed to sweep it under the carpet.  Accusations weren't even investigated. Evidence was lost.  The media wouldn't touch it, and injunctions were being issued left, right and centre. The establishment (whoever 'they' might be) looked after their own.  What they definitely didn't do, was to look after the interest of the 'child(ren)'.

This isn't lying though is it? This is denial? Or is it something much more sinister that's rippling under the fabric of our society? Is this a reality - but one that nobody wants to face?

What society needs is a big old BS detector.  Someone needs to go onto Dragon's Den with a contraption that's more compact than a regular metal detector, but is as accurate as one of the really expensive ones. The polygraph can be beaten (. . . I mean someone should really tell those people on the Jeremy Kyle show about some tricks/drugs that could help them to beat that little 'ole machine) - so a BS detector is the answer.

With that in mind, we could all stick with the rubbish everyday lies. The ones that we shouldn't say - but we do ("sorry I was late, the bus didn't turn up" aka "I just wanted to finish watching a really good programme" or "just checking that you got my email, it's just that my server's been playing up" aka "I emailed you days ago, why the hell aren't you answering me?"), but when it came to the important things like protecting a person's reputation . . . or the other side of that coin exposing the case of the paedophile rings that are being given a tacet permission to continue in our society. . . . the ability to truly trash a person's reputation. . . we simply turn on the BS detector, project the findings on a huge display, and all move on with our lives, with lessons learnt, and the appropriate punishment given.
Simples

#loveahashtagday

Wow....everything gets 'a day' now doesn't it? Every illness has 'a day', practically every job has 'a day'? What is that about? Is it a hashtag thing? Does 'a day' work? Today is #lovetheatreday will somebody see that hashtag today that has never been to the theatre and think 'I know...I'll give it a go. . . after all they all seem to love enough to give it a hashtag?'

Then who am I to talk about hashtags? I based the entire Mental Health Charter around the hashtag #time4change (I mean I even used 4 instead of for. . . cos that's how things rock in the 140 character world called Twitter)

Originally this blog was going to be about so many thoughts - how it scares me that people are advertising courses just as a 'West End thing'....like theatre stops and starts within a few postcodes? How sad that is, when some of the most creative, exciting stuff happens way outside London. How I didn't think that that was healthy for young professionals - as if that's the only goal, then the majority will fail...and what does that mean to them?

Then I was going to write this about how interesting I'm finding it at the moment, seeing phrases that I categorically know were 'created' by the incredible advertising gentleman called Toby Richards who had donated his time to The MTA back in the day because he believed in our ethos....now being in common usage throughout the industry. How back then I disagreed with Toby over so many of them, as I just didn't think that they 'worked'...but then I remembered that he was a marketing guru for a reason, and I wouldn't allow him to come in and change some of my music. In other words, we all have strengths, and the strongest people are the ones that recognise their weaknesses and work with them.

Then I was going to write a blog about boundaries, and about how important I consider it to be that staff and students don't confuse socialising with networking and vice versa. How strict boundaries should be in place to protect staff AND students from mixed messages that can confuse studio dynamics.

However, one thing just kept coming into my mind...it's Christmas. Christmas is definitely coming. On Monday I started rehearsing this year's panto. . . so I KNOW that it's Christmas very soon.
However, Christmas could maybe even should be hashtagged #crises. Christmas is one of those times when you can be surrounded by people - yet feel so alone. The worse feeling of all.

Actors, musicians, techies up and down the UK will be in 'strange' cities this Christmas, cooking the turkey or nut roast with their panto families, as it seems easier than attempting the Christmas commute, and all the dangers that that entails e.g. will 'work on the line', mean that you're sat on a replacement bus, when you should be on stage for the Boxing Day matinee?

There is no sadder time than seeing everyone so happy, so optimistic for their future, when you are personally struggling.

UK Productions, one of the countries more prolific panto companies has signed the #time4change charter - hopefully, their staff have already received the charter, so people that are already experiencing some mental health difficulties have had warning flags raised.
Some regional theatres e.g. The Nuffield, Wakefield Theatre Royal - have already signed the charter. Meaning that their 'guests' this Christmas, will have easy access to information on mental health crises centres in that area. These things over time WILL make a difference. They are the start of a much bigger conversation.

Then all those thoughts led me to this. . . the crux of this blog...where are all the other colleges? Why is there a resistance to signing up for #time4change? Are people really just so politically driven to think that because another college came up with the initiative they couldn't join up? Or are people thinking that they've got this sussed already? Are your 'policies' really working? The evidence would honestly suggest otherwise.

More and more evidence is being sent or delivered to me about how there already is a mental health crisis in our colleges. We know that you're inundated with people needing your services. We know (as one person told me) that it's like a Tsunami.  Let's face it, we know that the colleges expanded without a thought to pastoral provision, and now everyone is talking about Mental Health, students are using the opportunity of breaking away from home to start to explore their own, deep seated concerns.  Please let's work together and create the most supportive, safe environment for ALL drama and technical study students in the UK. Let's not make this about politics...let's just accept and act on the fact that it's #time4change.

I want to sit in a room with ALL the other colleges and thrash out a plan that could help everyone make the most of their resources, whilst supporting students and staff.

You have to be in it to win it. Rubbish phrase....I know....but our strength here could be in our numbers. Now what was that about recognises weaknesses and working with them?

The Whole Truth...and nothing but the Truth

The truth seems like such a simple concept doesn’t it? It’s what actually, physically happened surely? Simple. Yet for every event, ever occasion we will all have our own truth of what’s actually happened. We can all witness the same event, but by seeing it from slightly different angles, with slightly different agendas, we can create a truth that isn’t actually truthful at all.

truth

noun

1. the quality or state of being true.

   "he had to accept the truth of her accusation"

   
   

   • that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.

     noun: the truth

     "tell me the truth"

     
     
   • a fact or belief that is accepted as true.

     plural noun: truths

     "the emergence of scientific truths"

     
     

So this is what google has just told me as the definition of truth. It’s the latter definition that is really the most confusing one though…we ‘accept it to be true’. Why is that? Why do we just ‘accept’ at all? Isn’t our job as intelligent beings to actually question the truth to go out and discover a collective truth?

Now I’m not trying to get all philosophical here - in simple terms I’ve read a few things online recently which I personally don’t believe to be true…they have not been my experience of the truth.  I’m not calling the writers liars, as I believe that they own every word that they’ve written, however they’ve been so one sided - where is the other truth, and shouldn’t all truths be told for readers to make informed decisions?

Infamously most of us ‘get this’ with the Daily Mail don’t we? They write ‘a truth’ that thousands of reads believe, then the Guardian gives another truth which sheds more light on the Mail article.

For example:

People have been appalled that ‘so called’ refugees have been coming over to this country ‘with their mobiles’ so we’ll negate the fact that their homes were bombed, and they fled with whatever they could carry, fearing for their lives, we’ll forget entirely the fact that they were leaving a developed country, they weren’t your ‘mud hut’ refugees that you understand a bit more, we’ll brush over the perilous journey that they had undertaken to get ‘this far’…and we’ll focus on their mobiles shall we? ‘These people’ are ‘us’. I’m sorry but to everyone that knows me, they know that if I had to flee my home, after ensuring that my family were safe, the first thing that I’d take would be my mobile, my communication to other friends and relatives, an opportunity on a contemporary smartphone to find out what was really happening in my country. Surely a mobile makes the most sense? Oh yes…and ‘these people’? They are doctors, and lawyers and students and shop workers..and….they are ‘us’.

Two truths….in that very paragraph above…you chose which ‘truth’ suits your agenda….your deep seated belief will actually decide for you, without you actually realising.

‘THEY’RE NOT CHILDREN…THEY’RE ADULTS’ they cried….next day ‘NOBODY SAID THAT THEY’D BE TODDLERS’ (I’m paraphrasing both headlines) tomorrow it will be the ‘TODDLERS ARE BEING TRAINED TO KILL headline again. All are true…yet all have the bias of the author or the publication attached to them.

How do ‘these people’ fight back? Do they have a platform to write ‘their truth’? If they don’t we’re left with very one sided discussions aren’t we, with the rest of us basing deep rooted decisions based on one person’s interpretation of that word ‘truth’.

Over the years in this profession, indeed in my life (says old granny Thomas) I’ve had various run ins with people saying that the college couldn’t work, I didn’t know what I was doing, calling me a liar (which is a fascinating one to try and disprove because of all the above)…and back in the day I used to get really worked up about it. I would be adamant that ‘my truth’ be heard…as I didn’t want the last word to be my ‘untruth’. Social media took off and I began to realise that you couldn’t police it all. FB and Twitter allows anybody to write anything about you - and you can’t really stop it. You’ve given up the will to live by the time their ‘authorities’ look into it. Our own personal FB pages gives us the freedom to vent….and if we don’t like what the other people say…we delete their words….and eventually we delete them.  I’ve done it myself on numerous occasions - life is just too short to be arguing all the time.

So maybe it’s good for us all at times to stay curious about that word truth, as it’s actually not an absolute. It’s a transient word based on one person’s experience, and one person’s agenda…and might…just might, not bear witness to a collective truth.  

My head goes above the parapet so often I just as well buy a stool (I’m too short to actually just stand), so I am bound to come under fire again at some point…so I would say, the next time you hear a ‘truth’ about me…ask me about it….as we should all have the opportunity to collect THE ’truth’

Audition Time

From 20th October potential students can apply to be part of #theMTAway.

Personally the 'start date' always feels like it should be heralded with a fanfare or something, as the next round of the carousel takes off. 

It's always an interesting few months auditioning people. Every year is always so different, which of course in turn leads to every year group being so different.  As we are student led, as opposed to 'course led' - and by that, I mean that our entire course is essentially written around the year group that we have, as opposed to having the 'model course' which the year group need to fit into. This approach keeps us on our toes, and as teachers makes us have to work even harder.

This is the reason that I will only employ people that are actively working in the industry, as our course also needs to adapt each year to what the industry is asking of performers. So for example, last year for the first time we had to add a self tape component as that is the 'audition preference' of the moment. Who knows what it'll be be this year.  However I know that I have a great team within my faculty who will shout out (loud) if we're getting wrong, and more importantly shout loudly if we've suddenly become dated.

I don't know how students are going to chose their courses this year. I mean it's appalling that the Drama UK site is still live, when the organisation itself closed a few weeks ago?  It still implies that there is group of colleges that have been approved under a strict criteria. Now if you've followed any of my blogs you'll know that I've always had an issue with this, as it's clearly been an 'stamp of approval' peer led, by the same group of people for years.  I mean it's worth stating again that all the colleges on that list were not re-tested to get accredited back in 2013 or whenever it was it reformed - so they are NOT an elite list. They are a list of convenience.

That said there are some brilliant colleges on that list that are truly doing the business...but there are also some colleges that aren't delivering the goods at the moment.

It's hard...we're about to audition our 9th year group, which still makes us a baby in real terms. 

Even since I started the college in 2009 there's been such a change in the industry. So many more courses, the existing courses suddenly doubling their intake (and yes, this is a dig...doubling their intake without doubling their pastoral support systems).  So what advice to give to the incoming class of 2017?

It's the usual actually - audition in as many places as you can afford and go with your gut instinct BUT start asking for facts too. As there are some pretty big, well established colleges, actually doing rubbish out there....and there are some smaller colleges doing exceptionally well. So get the facts and ensure that you stand a good chance of recouping your fees at least by working.

I would add one thing to parents. . . get advice from 'real people' - not the online experts. Phone colleges up and ask them what the 'real deal' is? If you were buying a car for £30k you'd want to know cold, hard facts - you wouldn't be satisfied with hearing a mate telling you that they had bought one and it was OK...you'd want to invest your money wisely surely? 

Finally...and we're a long way off this. I wish that people would include what pastoral care their students were really getting into the equation. Don't fall for the 'we've got this and that' and 'we've got a policy on this and that' - go to the shows, and speak to the students and ask them what care they are getting in real terms.

NB: Blatant Advertising:

Auditioning #theMTAway involves spending the day with us. You'll be auditioned by the people that are going to train you...as we see no point in getting in 'experts' as they won't know what the course is able to do for you. You'll do a few workshops, you'll sing a solo, say a monologue, you'll have time to look around, chat to the current students/staff, very often time to chat to graduates as they're always around. That evening you'll get written feedback and our decision. No faffing about with recalls etc as your audition day will only have between 15 - 20 applicants in it. So we will really be able to 'see' you.  We then ask all auditionees for feedback to ensure that we're giving value for money etc. In 8 years of auditioning 100% of applicants have felt like they've received value for money, a large majority of them have actually thought that we've delivered more than required. Most applicants like the fact that we know your name by the end of the morning. Most applicants wish that they could sing more than one song too....but there you go ;-)

#worldmentalhealthday #time4change

105 Organisations have now signed up to the #time4change Mental Health Charter. In reality that 105 individuals that have gone to their partners, Boards, associates and said that Mental Illness is real and that we ALL have a moral obligation to do something about it.  More than that it's 105 people that weren't afraid of saying those 2 words....'Mental Health'

Today is World Mental Health Day, as ever their message is to talk.  This year their hashtag is #Iamwhole with a campaign for "Tea and Talk"
Mental Health is such a taboo in the UK we have to be persuaded to 'talk' about it. Man when I get ill I want everyone to know,  so that I can garner at least one version of 'poor you', 'are you OK?' 'can I help?'. Yet when people are ill, but not in a physical way, there is often no conversation. Even with themselves, the conversation can simply be 'it'll pass'.

I used to suffer from migraines. I wanted everyone to know about it. I'd walk around with the face of someone begging 'recognise that I'm ill'. People were thoughtful, asked me if light was bothering me (did I need to sit in a dark room for a bit)? Was noise an issue? As maybe discussions could happen somewhere elsewhere.

What if you're depressed though? What do you do then?

The general population think that the depressed person should either 'pull themselves together' and just 'get on with it', they think that it's 'a phase'. I mean. . . if they were really  depressed they'd be crying,wouldn't they? They'd be the person huddled up in the corner of the room, with everyone else feeling awkward about it?

So here's the thing. . . very often the most severely depressed person is the person sitting next to you smiling. Asking you  if you're OK? They're probably listening to your  problems. The depressed person is seldom the one that you think.

What about the 'anxious' person - well they all need to just 'take a deep breath' because it'll be 'OK'. You encourage them to go and do the activity that's making them anxious, as 'they'll feel better when they're there'. Anxiety is surely just nerves, butterflies in your tummy?

Here's the thing though. . . those bits of advice, however well meaning they might have been, might have just been wasted air.  Did you ask them what they needed to help them in that moment? Does your 'anxious' mate prefer to be alone or with company during an anxiety attack? Have you asked them? Have you found out what their anxiety attack looks like? It might not be the panic attack that you've heard people talk about. I mean what exactly is a panic attack anyway? Then you see one - it scares you because you've never seen one before;  someone gasping for air, scared that they just can't take air in, scared that they might even die, the sensations are so bad? Everyone is so different.

Eating Disorders are easy to spot though, aren't they? I mean people just suddenly look thin, and you ask them if they're OK...and then you tell them they need to eat more. Sorted!
What about Bulimia though - they tend not to lose the weight? How do you spot them?

We need to talk EVERY day about Mental Health, just like we do EVERY day about our physical health. If you have a cold...don't you tell people when they ask you if you're OK? That's a viral thing, a thing that couldn't be helped, a thing that took over your body that you had no say in. My migraines were physical, I had no say in them, they just arrived and I had to deal with them. Mental Health is a thing that takes over your brain that you have no say in. What's the difference?

When you're physically ill don't you look for treatment to help you get better? Why is it so different for Mental Health?

This week I was thrilled when the owner of the website 'Not A Pushy Mum' got in contact with me to find out how they could get involved in #time4change. They have a unique 'in' with the parents of children going into the arts.  As we're hearing in nearly every government review at the moment Mental Health in the young is on the increase. If all those parents that are so desperate for their children to do well in life read the charter, they might, just might read something that starts to ring some bells for them.  Then if they're very brave. . . they'll address what they've just discovered. They'll do this because they'll want the best possible start for their child's life (even though they might be scared of what they've discovered/realised)

The majority of colleges have now had their Fresher's week - I'm already hearing the figures of people that have presented at counselling services looking for support. The figures are staggering. The person that once mentioned a Tsunami is not wrong.

Many students arrive at college wanting to be different, wanting to reinvent themselves. It is BRILLIANT when part of that reinvention is dealing with a mental health issue. It's sometimes easier to address this when away from your parents.

How sad then that I'm also hearing about long waiting lists, about counsellors not even returning calls as a 'holding' strategy.

We need more colleges on the #time4change charter. We then need to sit down and look at how we talk together, in a way that promotes best practice, and in a way that maybe manages to support each other too.

These are the stats released today:

Latest suicide statistics* highlight young suicide in the UK at its highest for the past 10 years. In 2015 1,659 young people under 35 years took their own lives; an increase of 103 more than in 2014 and 58 above the previous highest recorded figure (1,631 in 2011).

“Suicide is the biggest killer of young people in the UK. It is a national crisis that can no longer be ignored,” said Ged Flynn, chief executive of national charity PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide.

These well-meaning campaigns should not be happening, because Mental Health is real, it's happening, and we should be discussing those illnesses like we discuss a migraine or a cold.

#time4change is ongoing. Are YOU an individual that could make a difference today?